Love’s Battle Field

  • Love All Around The World.

    There’s a dog wagging his tail, a couple kissing on the side of the street. It’s all the romance of the Earth twirling around us like the music on her spinning dress. They are there at the cafe, getting coffee discussing their former mates. They have wide smiles and wine filled stomachs for they love to laugh a little too loud in the dinner candle lights.

    All the love in the world, but somehow we are just magical observers who gets a glimpse of the lady he’s pulling himself into. We look in the mirror at ourselves and wonder, “Who is that? How have we changed into this person?”

    The reflection erodes our understanding of self and our egos are enlightened to the uncomfortable revelation of reality, we are not the center stage performer as we once were. There was a time of our moment in the spotlight but that time has come and may never come again, or at least it feels that way. Sticking to our way to big book, we can see the eyes gleam at us while we eat a sushi dinner for one.

    They were mocking the scene across the bar, and the woman couldn’t resist to ask the question, “What book is that?” Turning around to pleasant eyes radiating behind circular glasses, it wasn’t a mistake. The thought that the couple had been staring this way for the past 15 minutes had been confirmed with one question.

    “Lord of The Rings,” a voice answers, and somehow the next thing a person knows is they find themselves joining a meal for two as their plus one. Becoming a now third element to the type of couple family members pressure over wedding cocktails, “so when are you two planning the engagement?”

    But there was no reason to disengage as she started to describe,

    “In France, people start dating from the moment they go out. Right on the first date, that’s it, you are my boyfriend.” She looked at her man and smiled.

    Now being in no rush to leave, we discover they’ve been dating for one and a half years and just moved in together.

    In no rush themselves, she works here in Israel at a big time company dealing with blockchain of some AI program and he, being from Rhode Island, happened to find himself working as an employee for Fiverr and mainly as her man. A sweet, simple, yet modern couple. They couldn’t help but mingle with the meal words signifying a modified management of monogamy.

    There was an impressive chord struck when she claimed she wants the kids to be raised by him while she climbs the corporate cubicle. France, apparently, spiced itself with the same spunky feminism of the west, and there’s a moment where we listen to the fresh take on old told notion.  

    With the sight of their seamlessly solid twosome, we ask ourselves the subtle question, “Is this the new way for our future?”

    Pondering the rules to the generation’s new game, we conclude, “Whatever the rules, will we be able to stick by them?”

    Walking away with more questions than answers we think, “Who are we? And as a person, how do we view relationships?”

    The time has come to try and answer these questions.

    Friends tell us it’s time we go out and date, that we should step up to the plate.

    But what are we trying to swing at? How was the pitch for a relationship up at bat? Will it even be a home-run across the globe?

    More importantly, “Will these beliefs get us a definite travel ticket to the City of Love?”

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    PLEASE!!**  Share your thoughts 🙂 That’s how we all learn and grow, Thank you!

  • He Likes Her, She Likes Him.

    He likes her…

    Because she is different, adventurous, spontaneous, completely illogical. She has the perfect amount of curves he’s called to, a captivating charisma, a confidence of core character. He thinks she’s a beauty both on a basic biological basis and in brilliance of a bold brain. Her arch in her back sends him wild to the sky, sending messages overseas in a bottle of opened vulnerabilities. He thinks of her as a princess, depicted in his mind as an ideal that can’t be shaken and scratches his head as he shakes off the slumper with another night dreamt of sleeping beauty. What a goddess in his eyes, a pinnacle of potential perfection. She was a light on to him, and he contrasted her glow. What was he to her? The shadow underneath, the repulsive underbelly of way to many nights cramming codes on keyboards. He wasn’t at her level, she was just too pure to be his. So he held out his hand and dramatically took it back, “I guess I’ll just go.” And on he went without her, mopping and trying to man-up, but he was a mess. Mortified to the merical of a possibility, “Could it have been us?” He types her a message in pain of a reply. Why does she barely reply?

    She likes him…

    Because he’s like a reflection, one with the shine of an extroverted magician, that can spark her fantasies of romantic affairs. He is the exact fit to her storybook ending, a man of charm, a lover of her world. She believes he is stable, even with his unpredictable consistency, he manages himself. She writes letters to him daily she never intends to send. A ritual act that builds up her love of his lips, a lust of the lingering link between them. She wonders about him as she wakes up in the morning, as she goes to sleep at night, and all throughout her walking days. He seems so far away from her now, halfway across the world. Many time zones away, she was ahead of his lifetime and she wonders if she’s ran too far astray. Was she ahead of him? Did she move too quick to capture his concentration? “Was she just too above him?” she’ll wonder as she writes these words on journals she’ll share to the world but will not dare for him to see. “I suppose I could reach out now,” she will say as she sends the first email, a response 4 months overdue. The hurt of her heart hangs hopeful at the positive reaction, but why does she resist to reply?

    He likes… nobody knows.

    Because his actions are off and the mood of time’s discordant records of behavior calls for him to not know what he wants. Is it her, or is it just,

    Himself.

    He likes himself…

    Because he has the ability to choose what he wants and where to go, what to do. His freedom is first and frankly that is his choice. He admires his extreme lifestyle and is a diehard addict to a businessman’s pace. He replies back to her for himself. He loved her, he remembers as he trips over memory’s lane.

    In love there is three sides to attraction:

    He likes her, but she likes him, and he likes himself.

    But maybe he also likes her?

    Because she likes herself.

    But him, the him that only likes her, never really likes himself.

    So she can never really like him.

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  • 11 Signs of a Twin Flame.

    “According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.” -Plato, The Symposium

    Today is the 11th day of the 11th month of a universal 11th year (2018 = 2+0+1+8 = 11). So it gets a woman to wonder, where is my parallel partner? Where is the 1 to our 1, the one person who mirrors our life and sparks spring to bloom in the middle of winter. Can’t we just see, through the seasons of a giving tree, they bring brightness to our lives and dare us to dig deeper into the roots of who we are? Where are we, if not for the relationship we’ve had with them? To who else do we appear to be so reflected through? We know who were talking about. We are talking about that special someone. We are talking about our identical projected self. We are talking about the Twin Flame. 

    What is a twin flame and one questions, “Is it him? Is it her? Who is it?”

    How can we know for certain of our twin? On this sacred day of 11, here’s 11 signs he or she is definitely a twin flame.

    1. When thinking back on old loving memories together, it can bring someone to tears. 

    Looking back on times spent together with a twin flame are beyond words. No not every moment is magical but, there are those specific times in a relationship that if someone had a flashback to with some sappy song like, “Forever Young” by Youth Group, expect full blown water works.

    2. Twin flames look into each other’s eyes and immediately there’s a sense they have met before.

    From day one the two could be seen by staring deeply into each other’s eyes, no words, no need to say a thing to each other, it’s all starry eyes. The look of their eyes will seem so familiar they will both wonder, “Have we met before?” They will both claim they know they know each other from somewhere, but they can place where. For some reason without getting a chance to really get to know each other, they have an intense sense of understand who the person is they see in front of them. Their eyes just look comforting to each other, and they can feel the love come from their eyes straight into their hearts.

    3. It’s NOT about the physical, but the two physically fit together perfectly!

    Ever feel awkward when getting intimate with someone for the first time? Not with a twin flame! Intimacy is the core of the twin flame relationship, therefore, there is no weird tongue moves, no strange feelings holding hands, or an inability to express the full spectrum of sexual fantasies. Being attracted to a twin flame is not something that needs to be built or worked on, it magnetizing, it’s everything, their voice, their look, their personality, their energy that swirls the two together like two spiraling galaxies. We can feel it in the kiss, the sex, and most importantly in the cuddles. Spoon on spoon we fit like a matching set welcomed at any dinner party. It doesn’t matter who’s on top, it just matters that the two are together.  

    4. They can touch each other without touching each other.

    This is why it’s not about the physical for the two flames, they don’t even need to be physical with each other to have physical reactions to the other person. They don’t even need to be in the same room, state, or even country. Halfway around the world and a twin flame can definitely sense the other half of themselves. It’s a kind of mysterious telepathy unique to the twin flame bond. It’s a core shaker.  

    5. The two always knows how to be themselves with each other.

    Prepare for things to get down right real. With a twin flame one can access their inner weirdo at any time! They don’t care if they act like a bunch of beans, their two peas in a pod. There’s always something to share, even when there’s nothing to say, the two make each other feel at home. Expect funny voices, secret slips of their childish side, and that joyful moment when the two can take their pants off and get seriously strange. They’re dancing around because the only one looking is the one person they feel one with.

    6. They are not opposites, they are compliments.

    Most people say opposites attract, however that isn’t completely true. It’s definitely not true when it comes to the twin flame connection. Twin Flames are each other’s perfect mirror image, therefore, the two can be quite similar. They have there differences of how each one expresses their masculine and feminine qualities but, they don’t completely repel, they attract each other by complimenting the qualities they already have within them both. One might be a bit more organized and insecure, the other more out of order and confident, with this they combine together to advance the traits already held within the other. The purpose of a twin flame is to help both partners learn more about becoming whole with themselves first before they elevate to a level where the two can become one together.

    7. Expresses both the Greatest Self and the Darkest Shadow.

    A twin flame is the image of what we need to integrate more into our personalities. They are the one person who we don’t just look up to, but we see eye to eye. Face to face, we face, that with all the greatness we learn from them as our most valuable teacher, we realize their flaws are also our own. The twin flame is bound to bring up those deep childhood wounds that so rarely get triggered by people. One of the two may make a mistake, mess up, and have the other doubt everything about themselves, about the two of them being together and their ability to make it together in the long term. The relationship of a twin flame is the most blissful intimate relationship a human can have, so of course it is also the most challenging.

    8. The Runner/Chaser Phase

    Since the relationship is basically a looking glass for each person, both people go through times of being the runner or the chaser. It’s not an easy thing to do, to have a crystal clear look at oneself projecting back at a person. So one runs away, one chases. This cycle goes on until each individual learns how to be happy on their own and hopefully, their other half is there waiting for them on the other side of the crystal ball. The reason this phase occurs in the twin flame union is because a twin wants their twin to have the best in life, therefore, they only want to be with their twin when they are at their best, and also when their twin is at their best as well.

    9. There’s no separating the the two twins for long.

    Twin flames are meant to belong in each other’s lives to help the progression of the other. They might not end up together in the end, but they will always be in the life of their twin. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed when the two come together again, it feels like no time has passed and everything becomes timeless again.

    10. Both people want to be giving in the relationship.

    A relationship based off of what they can give to the other is a twin flame relationship. There’s no fuss about who gives what, when, and how, or even how much, the two just keep giving unconditionally. A twin flame is not there to take anything from the other, they are there to give and by giving to the twin flame they actually give to themselves.  

    11. No matter how much pain the two have been through together, they always forgive each other.

    The most giving thing a twin flame couple does for each other, is give them their forgiveness. The twin flame always winds up forgiving the other twin for their mistakes, because they realize that the twin flame is themselves, and everyone must learn to forgive themselves.

    ***Important Side Note**

    NO! A physically, sexually, verbally, or emotionally abusive relationship DO NOT qualify as a twin flame relationship!

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  • We Are Single.

    There it is again, that feeling. The unmistakable moment of blood rushing up from your core because you’re knocking on the door, and no one is answering. The only thing looking back at you is an empty page. The white void of just nothing behind the screen but a bunch of CSS and HTML. But here we are, sketched on the page and colored in by a personal shade of choice. “Where am I? What do we look like?” we ask ourselves. Shaken by the sight in the mirror we begin to see, and it makes us want to puke. Something about it doesn’t sit in the stomach.

    We are absolutely alone.

    We are in our own time and it seems timeless.

    We are nobody and anyone we want to be, all at once.

    We are the person who answers the door and the one who walks through it.

    No one stands in our way. No one, except someone that goes by no one who happens to be someone who is no one, and someone has to be no one. We are that one. We are the one heartbeat that everything is alright. There is no one in the way. No one but, the no one we wish to see in ourselves. It’s the hardest part of growing up, no longer can you be distracted by the constant background of social groups and contrasting characters. There’s just too many faces to really see our own and the mirror gets fogged by the cloud of countless people. Finally, we have nothing to see but ourselves. And the illumination is a dangerously beautiful mixture.

    We have become ourselves. Nothing to see here but the chiseled contexts of core beliefs and a brainwashing upbringing. And just like that a diamond is carved from the mines of man’s mental expression. Sure, there’s still work to be done. We have to sand down the edges and polish it off, but at the very least we held our ground and now it’s our time to learn how to make ourselves shine. So it’s not about anyone around you, it’s about you. You realizing the priceless jewel of self. What’s our inner pearls? Can we crack open the shell?

    Nothing there but the frame of an opened door, and we are the ones to walk through it. We are the ones to take that step, that first qualifying leap, that we are ready to cross over the threshold. We begin to have immediate doubt and fear of the inconceivable, “Are we actually enough?” No not us, we are no one! No one is not enough. To be enough, we have to be someone. “Yeah that sounds right,” we say to ourselves, and it would sound like the truth, but our wise wide eyes can already see everyone is no one. That someone you see as a ‘someone’ is actually no one at all. We are all no one and everyone and anything we’d like to be. What are we?

    A blab of emotions thinking, talking, eating, breathing, acting.

    What role do we want to play? Because everyday is a new day do perform a new part in the masterpiece of self-mastery. We can be the magician of this mural and the high priestess of the divine, but what about the fun loving fool? The scary thing is we are that too. We are like that pink bunny that shows up everytime a Sim becomes depressed, we know how to get laugh. Looking like Legally Blonde got invited to a ‘costume’ party for a few stops on this bus ride, why should we care if they don’t know what Halloween is in Israel? The jokes on them, we don’t need their approval. The holiday is already so much like every other day. Only now the whole world is laughing at us because we’re different. And it shatters our self-esteem.

    Breakdown all the walls of this house and see that we’re babies. We are the children that are raising ourselves. We may kick and scream that we don’t want to be who and what we are, but here we are. The unapologetic version of ourselves. Don’t worry no one is looking, we are all by ourselves.   

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  • To be in a Relationship, or To Not Be?

    That is the question. When we look around us at all the exceedingly attractive people and we look inwardly at all the beauty we behold, one begins to wonder, “Why be in a relationship?” What’s the point of having a relationship when we have a good book and casual flirts that send us flying. Why bother with the title?

    No one tells you when you sign up for boyfriend or girlfriend that the friend is definitely out of the picture and the focus is on the boy or girl. Not man and wife, but boy and girl which means almost certainly that there is a level of childishness about the whole matter. So why take things so seriously is the question?

    He plays the prince and you the princess but, there’s no real castle to maintain. You both get your fun and there’s no after to the happily-ever-after phase. It could be just endless rainbows of mind blowing erotic indulgence. No, “I love you’s” followed by, “I love you more’s” just plain and simple fairytale fantasies. A la-la-land of living life to its limits. We don’t need a text back, we need a freak in the sheets with a maximum chance we’ll meet again.

    The irresistible offer warps our weighing scales, “To be or to not be?”

    We are still so young, “What’s the rush to be in a relationship?” We can take things as they are and leave them alone. Not to mention enjoy actually being alone. Having our personal space to express what we actually are, no judgement. After all most people in their early adult years don’t even know how to be themselves because they haven’t found themselves. So why try and find someone else to be with if we’re still lost?

    It’s the attention isn’t it? Our egos getting a bit bruised because he likes her better. No one wants to just give themselves away without the promise of their value as a priceless person. We want to be special, so special we can’t be the special single shortie who breaks double standards and straddles whatever she likes.

    Though, once we cross that line at the bedroom things are bound to be serious. I mean you can become seriously pregnant and then seriously screwed, or more likely the other way around. In any case, if we know the title eventually leads to the new title of man and wife, or even an even more advanced title of mother and father, then when do we as person know what’s the right time to even dabble in an endeavor of such significance?

    One doesn’t just date without the repercussions of dating. Unless you are a severally jaded person, going on blind date after blind date will eventually get a person to see the after effect. But blind as we may be, it’s blind leading the blind and we become blindsided with our beloved.

    Love doesn’t come according to our calculations and we can’t analyze it anyway. If love is there, it’s there. If love is not there, it’s not there. You don’t really need to date someone a whole year to know if you love them, love is intangible and no amount of time spent will change what already lies in the heart of two souls.

    That’s why some people are puzzling, how can you date someone for more than a month without full belief they could be the one for you? If you’re not at least in some belief of this, then what’s the point of even dating this person? Take a more honest look and it seems like they are just wasting their time and the time of their partner’s. What’s the point of being in a relationship without love?

    Sincerely I’d love to be enlighten! What’s the purpose of even trying to fling around feelings if there’s no means to an end, just endless loose ends and flat endings. We cry for the ones we love and moan over ones that made us hurt, but to tell the truth sometimes we all begin to wonder, why even date?

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  • This is Not New York, This is Tel Aviv.

    “Omg it looks like new york” she said with glitter in her blue eyes. I smile at her because, how could I not, she loves New York. She loves New York because she didn’t grow up 40 minutes away from it. The strangely familiar visual changed the whole perspective of the place. She was right, it did look like New York.

    But it’s just not New York. The air is different and the music is warming. This is not New York. This is Tel Aviv. This is a city that knows peace because it knows war. This is a type of place that has a tough exterior, but a loving inside. Not that New York hasn’t had it’s battles and Tel Aviv is the land of always peaceful, but something about the side street falafel and hummus assures you of it’s family values.

    The small hours wandering a museum of Yitzhak Rabin makes a person wonder why it’s always the person advocating peace who pays the price of resting in it. Why?

    The city marked on miracles and misfortune can make a mensch out of a menace. But who else can become a mensch but one who has been misfit? “One can only make peace with their enemies” the Rabin says. I say one can only know hurt by being so.

    Just as we women know love because we know heartbreak. We know proper educate because we know how to act a fool. We are both sides of the coin and we argue for both sides of the case. For love, all for love. Love that we will one day be there on that day of peace as one, one of love. And then it rains, then the people say to life, “l’chaim!” As we start to head down stream. The night after the full moon, and now we have an eb to this flow. A dance to this music. The splash sound to droplets of truth, the poetry of going out on a gloomy night. Because tonight even in lit up streets we prefer to be in the dark.

    This is not New York, this is Tel Aviv. This is where we know ourselves, because we don’t know what we will become. Where a night taking the one bus becomes the one night we acted like we were number one. Yes the night life is always face up, so we put our drinks down. Why not be young and free in the foreign priceless memories of a person’s early twenties. We have our youth, we are single, and we can choose to do whatever we want. Who cares if Jerusalem encourages us to wear sleeves.

    This is the city of Tel Aviv, who were they to know anything about us as we jog down the streets and pass on wearing a sports bra. Who are they to know what the context of our character consist of? We are here to be ourselves regardless of the fact that if we stop to take a breath from running we wind up unintentionally racking up a guy’s number without even wanting it.

    No I don’t think I’ll be texting you my name. It’s just too Israeli, it’s just so Tel Aviv. It’s too forward when you aren’t even in the mood. But we just keep pressing on like a soldier. We are fearless, and there’s a proud pace to our steps. But we can’t stop running, and the silence remembers that we are still that little afraid girl.

    This is not New York. This is Tel Aviv, the city of parties-parties, restaurants, businesses, and stores. The lifestyle is full of different sounds and beautifully lit hidden side streets. It’s a lotus in a pond and its petals are the walls of its skyscrapers. We aren’t protected by any of the realities of Israel even if all the apartments must legally have one bomb shelter room. Because this is so not New York.

    This is Tel Aviv. This is a new spring that flows from the eternal soul to seduce us with sensual allure. “This is the place to be,” a small voice may tell us. There has never been one who could resist the thoughts of temptation surrounded in a such a holy land.

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  • Text that Ex?

    Tip tap-tip tap the timberland boots march onward without my mind to working with each step taken. I can see the people look at me as I whip by them at New Yorker’s pace. They can see the creases of joy my eyes make.

    Breath in the fresh prana, look around at the fresh architecture, and just know yes, we’ve turned the car around. We hit the break, and with a breakdown breakthrough we knew the breakup was the best move. Blinded by a new city of brilliant smiles and wise street lighting the barely dark night hugs any doubt we may harbor. We could be going to a nice cafe, going out with the girls, or even just off to see a new possible love interest. We are on the path of our own choices. We love our life, we love how idealistic our lives have become, how simplified.

    There is a cute guy who checks you out and a hot man with a stroller and a husky who doesn’t, and you just know all is right with the world. You did your morning workout, ate just the right amount, and even caught up on some reading.  

    But a perfect as our night hours may be traveling around foreign city streets, our hearts remember the question, “What if I were home right now? Would I be so strong? Would I ignore the heaviness my chest harbors with the same resilience?”

    Of course not, we know the truth that the second he sent the apology message or said hey on your birthday, we would break right there. We were in love, we still are. No matter how many times your girlfriends say, “your ex is an asshole” or our family encourages us he wasn’t right for us, there is something you just know about this person is different. Something about the situation is a special circumstance.

    You are over the problems that seemed to come up in the past and time as well as new people you’ve gotten yourself involved with has shown you the reality of how big those little problems actually were. Everything was fine with your relationship, even almost exactly everything you could want, and if you decided to be bold you could have that with him again.

    Yet we are alone. Hopelessly, but happily, isolated at our own free will. With the ability to be with anyone anywhere, however, here we are to ourselves. Sure there will be those that try to penetrate our thick layered bubble, but our hearts have been cut off and kept cold in a chamber within a secret treasure chest we don’t even possess the keys to. All we must do is find the key to unlock it! But this time there will be no helpers in the art to winning our hearts, we must slay the dragon all on our own with our cute manicured princess nails.

    We wonder further down into the dungeon, to the pits of self, “Why don’t we just reach out to the one hero we know has the keys to our heart?” The question lingers on a late night glass of wine and lays in our lap as we finally turn off the lights. It’s dangerous in these dark hours, these late hours, these hours that remind you, “What if it’s too late? Has it been too long? Should I have not left him in the dark?” Fingers dancing around the trigger very little stops us but the terrifying final thought, “Maybe he’s with someone else?”

    We remove our eyes off the screen we roll our minds back to the bed and call it a rest. We feel we’ve run out of time the sand in the glass has slipped away and the window of opportunity has ceased to be letting in a drift.

    Tonight is just not that night.

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  • In The Ocean of Love.

    Hot, hot, HOT. We want to be so steaming we need a cold shower. One could spend their whole life looking for that irresistible intimacy. How will we find it? What do we do once it’s lost? People say that there’s a whole world out there, they tell you to swim far and fast to truly see what’s in the sea but do they really know of how lost love affairs sink into our soul? In the ocean of love why do we only want one fish in the sea? Here in Tel Aviv I see the waters beginning to change. Yes Jerusalem will still be a spiritual center with the enigmatic spectacle of street cat calls but, here in Tel Aviv we are in the land of free the nipple and hide your heart. So get prepared to take a few more showers, things are about to get dirty. Or maybe not. If a guy you find attractive is clearly checking you out, do you wish to cast a line? The eye contact was afloat on dry land so why do I feel moved by strange tides that make me latch to the shores? “Who needs the drama of real love,” one voice says, the other says, “Who needs the theatrics of sex?” Adrift as I may be there is one thing swimming in the waters I can see in full confidence, “Who actually starts a relationship from friendship? What’s the point of a soul mate if there’s not soul when you mate?” Of course it’s vital to be friends as well as lovers, but are we really to believe that is all we want from our partner is compatible conversation? Waves of warmth that’s what we crave, the spark of life, the build up of something that gets us sincerely soaked.

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  • Stay Celibate or Seek Consummation?

    “Shalom,” I said as I wandered on by. His friend starts to sing, “beautiful girl” as I kick up my pace. It’s absolutely amazing to witness, one look and a guy already knows he wants to sleep you. Quite frankly he could be as cute as Cam Gigandet and we’d probably still have to consider his resume over a month before he passed the filtration process, and that’s with the label, “boyfriend” stamped on his profile for a month! Feminists around the world sneer at the thought of it, but the truth: Women are different than men! We talk a lot more, lift a lot less, etc. Though this little encounter got this little lady to wonder, “Why are women so different when it comes to their sex life?”

    Once upon a time, a high school peer of mine said, “a lock that can open for any key is a shitty lock but a key that can open any lock is a master key.” Basically it summed up the double standard within a two sentence mastermind metaphor no one could challenge. Who wouldn’t want to be a master key? It seems to be the fair statement to suggest that men are the keys and women are locks due to the parts they represent but sometimes in the modern day, we millennials like a little role reversal. Stick to the same story every time and things go stale, and no one likes a cliche!

    Ever see a really average looking girl with an dead drop gorgeous guy or an old ugly fat woman with a young looking man? Two words for those girls: Master Keys. Though even though we find times when the guy’s heart is a item a girl would like to unlock, the latter analogy is alive and well. Religions all across the world sell female sexuality as a commodity to barder and trade. The funny part being if she’s a virgin then she will be of even higher value, which is kind of like saying, “I’ll take the one who definitely doesn’t have a clue what she’s doing.” Wait till marriage the rabbis say, sex is sacred! There is nothing so sacred about a low sex drive, ignorance of intimacy, or sexual dysfunction between two people now committed for life.

    Don’t forget, things aren’t much better in the West either. Sex sells says the New York billboards and look how much money you can make off your beauty instagram insures. In the “land of the free,” home of the birth control, why are we still feeling sold, bought, and used? After a while of these thoughts flying across oceans and seas women still have a lot to talk about in actualizing what to tell future daughters and their daughters. Will we tell our baby girls to stay celibate or seek consummation as they please?

    Of course no mother would tell her daughter to sleep with as many men as possible before marriage, but fathers tell sons all the time to do just that. Little boys are one issue with this type of mentality but worst we send women out there with the double bind of enjoy your beauty but don’t be a floozy. For guys the message is pretty direct, conquer as much as you can, for girls the message is as grey as the sky in the morning on our walk of shame home. How empowering is it when we need to have a slut walk through Time Square?

    So when engaged with an intimate counterpart of the opposite gender, when is the time we can fully “let our hair down” and go down on our mate? Realistically no girl is sleeping with a new man every night unless she’s in a seriously low place considering women don’t just want the sex, they want intimacy. Women’s need to be emotionally fulfilled in full blown lustful encounters matter way more than a man who looked up and down at a women on the street and right then decided he was down to be up her bottom. So maybe a little bit of an intense dating process is needed for courtship, but what is the median between his way, her way, and the way that ensures a lifetime of love and libido?   

     

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  • Everyone Marries A Stranger.

    There it was, the thought we’ve all tried to shut down immediately, “everyone marries a stranger.” As fully grown intelligent adults we would love to believe that we know the person we get intimately involved with. The reality, however, is that the divorce rates say otherwise. We don’t really know what we are getting into when we say, “I do.”

    Putting a ring on someone’s finger doesn’t exactly say that because a diamond will last the long run the bride and the groom will too. We try to see what our parents have done to make it through the years but most of us in this modern masquerade perform a masterpiece of misery. A series of unfortunate events gone viral throughout the families lines and eventually created the chaos in which we came out of.

    All of this comes with smiling pictures in sunny picture frames only to notice a side of a coke addict spouse and a history of infidelity. Where have we gone so wrong in our culture? It seems as if even some of the most honorable American family systems are breaking down in the most unexpected ways. When that one good dad everyone knew as a honorable moral character finds himself with a not-so-faithful-anymore-fling, why even bother believing in the ring?

    But call it the eternal hopeless romantic of a little girl’s big dreams, we trust that one day we will find someone to love and be loved by. We wish upon a shooting star, blow another eyelash off our cheek, and tap our heels together three times to ensure that love will bring us back home in the arms of our beloved.

    It’s too bad the reality is a tornado has hit and all we really can do is be happy we are still alive after the fact. Twisted love stories aside, when we do finally build up the confidence to lay our hand out to be taken by a real man, and not one from a fairytale, we must know that we are engaged in some stranger-danger.

    We may have dated for 5 years or only 5 months but still the probability of failure and success stays the same. Just the other night I met a woman who was engaged and I asked her, “How long has she been with her fiance?” She casually replies two months and she’ll be married in three more, “It’s common in my culture” she added. Sure orthodox jews speed up the dating process and don’t even touch until the wedding night, but did that make their marriages any more or less successful? Numbers say the odds don’t discriminate regardless of what customs we practice but there definitely was something to what the rabbi said today.

    It is from our absolute dedication to a solemn vow that makes the difference between romantic inquirers and life-long lovers. Dating to encounter as many experiences possible to discern what fits with an individual’s eccentric energy is a precarious pursuit with no guarantee and the hazardous hidden cost of heartbreak. Is it just best we stop searching, settle down, and tie a sturdy knot?

    Devoting our lives to a man we know now doesn’t mean we will be married to that same man in the next fifteen years after time has worn him down to the truth. The question then seems to expand into wondering how to unlocking a man’s inner integrity. How can we find such a key if we are dealing with an incomplete and puzzling lock? We seem to forget that marriage is the most binding contract between two people especially when involving children.The whole thought process makes, “till death do us part” sound more like, “part of our own personal deaths.” So we better choose wisely and listen up,

    How does one judge a man’s character only on what he has done today, and not what he will do in the future?     

    I guess with Yom Kippur hanging over men and women’s heads alike, we can all agree only an infinite being is capable of having that answer.

    Please leave your thoughts in the comments section below! We would love to hear your thoughts and for inquiries email: Victoriaantis1996@gmail.com Thanks, Shana Tova!

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To Death Till We Part.

Happily Ever After.

We have all heard of the fairytale, the one where the prince slays the dragon and saves the princess. The last lines in those stories are always, “And they lived happily ever after.” Happily ever after in reality is not that difficult to achieve. No man is defeating a giant beast to get into your pants and even more perplexing he doesn’t even have to put a ring on it to get his way. Instead courting has become a thing of confusing crossroads a bunch of unperceived obstacles of yes or no. It would seem like an empowering feat for us women, yet most of us girls are just trying to discern what rings our bell as truth. We try on and change men like clothes in a dressing room all to find the right fit. Then suddenly out of complete random chance we find it, the perfect outfit that hugs our specific curvy figure just right. This is otherwise known as our first real love. We fantasize our wedding day, the house will have, and even names we may call our future kids. But what really happens after happily ever after, is we begin to discover it’s really more significant what actually happens after. Does Prince Charming have any unusual corks? Are you not such a pretty pretty princess after all? What witchcraft can be done to sustain a healthy hot and heavy union? Do we need some kind of magic spell to make him spellbound for life? And what about us, can we preserve our passion through the perils of partnership? How long does love last between two lusting lurkers, and how well does it hold up against a couple paired on practicality? At first thought one may say a relationship built on lust is a shakier foundation but the fundamentals in a combined team make the separation from friends to lovers. Some people say, “it’s better to marry someone who loves you more.” Doesn’t that thought seem a bit bleak. It’s a dark life when one sets themselves up to be engaged in a commitment one does not really love, especially when that promise is for life. “To death till we part,” we say but what death are we referring to, his, her’s, or their love? 

To Death Till We Part. (8)

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